Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
