Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
