well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
