Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
