you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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