I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize