Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
