How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
