he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The beer is more important than you right now.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize