that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
