my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize