We won't sleep together?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
