no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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