By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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