i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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