Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
