did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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