you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
