I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize