I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
