I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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