Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
