THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
