very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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