It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
