I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
