Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
