Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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