y did u give ur computer a hand job?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
