i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I AM VODKA MAN
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
