Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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