Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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