Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
