I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
