It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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