cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize