After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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