real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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