Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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