What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
