We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
