I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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