remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
