I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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