from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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