i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize