why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
