last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I need moral support for this bender
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
