So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
