thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My liver just broke up with me...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
