So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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