i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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