there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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