i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
