Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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