i don't like sucking hair
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
