Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
