You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
