That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
