6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize