People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
