i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I don't think brook has ever known best
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
